Don't Treat Us Like We're Fragile

If you deal with a psychological disorder that has "gotten you in trouble", chances are that your loved ones have reacted with concern. This is a natural response. The severity of your illness scared them, and they just want you to be safe and happy.

They want you to avoid another hospitalization, another suicide attempt, another psychotic break, so they treat you differently. They are gentler towards you. They remind you to take your meds.  Most relevant to this post, they encourage you to limit yourself, to pursue a low-stress, low-risk lifestyle to avoid a relapse. 

There is nothing wrong with the motivation behind these acts of concern. Your family and friends love you. They are trying to protect you. But this attempt to shield you from further suffering just isn't effective, and may even be counterproductive.

For one thing, it doesn't always work. Even if you don't get a high stress job and live in your parents' house and don't date and don't stay out late and don't drive fast and don't drink alcohol and don't skip a single dose of your meds and basically don't do anything strenuous or stressful ever, you may still relapse. Most psychiatric illnesses follow a relapse-remitting course-you will have periods of increased symptoms and periods of relative health. That is just what happens. Yes, environmental factors can precipitate a relapse, but biology is just as likely of a culprit. 

Secondly, not everyone who takes risks is guaranteed to relapse. There are successful people with psychiatric disorders in every field. Doctors, lawyers, professors...they may have to be careful to take their meds and regulate their sleep schedule, but they can still live symptom-free for long periods of time.

Furthermore, the world suffers when neurodivergents (people who deal with mental illness) limit themselves to low-skilled, low-stress jobs. Many of us are intensely intelligent and creative. We do excellent work, and we have the ability to go out and do a lot of good. 

Ironically, in their attempt to limit you for your own protection, your loved ones may make you more vulnerable to relapse. Let's face it: a stress-free, safe life is boring. Not being allowed to pursue your dreams is depressing. Never leaving your hometown for fear that the world will not be kind to you is discouraging. If you don't take risks, then you have nothing to live for.